Commentary on Poem 3:
Reflecting on:
-the theme that you are exploring in the poem.
-how you developed the theme in your poem.
-the effect/s that you would like to achieve in the poem to impact your readers and how you went about doing it.
-the extent to which you think you have been successful
This poem composed by me tells about the view of the taxi driver of young people nowadays.Also tells about the view of the taxi driver felt about how to success in Singapore. Lastly, it also tells about what he had experienced as a taxi driver, making living for his family and tells more about his family.
I made myself to be the taxi driver in order to develop the theme in my poem.I develop it by telling how hard this driver had gone through to educate well his daughter, not wanting her daughter to become a person who does not obey or mixed with bad guys or girls.
I hope the readers would get the information in which how hard their parents work for them to study.Wanting them to get a good job in future or be well educated.I also hope that they would know how competitive it is now in society as compared to the past time.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Poem 3:
Title of the story used to compose my poem: The Taxi man's Story
Making a living with a job as a taxi driver,
for about twenty years,
I have been a taxi driver.
It had been more tiring,
as compared to the past years.
To success in Singapore,
working really hard is very important.
No money can be earn without sweat.
Especially for people
like me
No education
No capital for business
But with a quite big family
with eight children in total.
Among the the eight,
the youngest one is the one who does not obey.
Felt like punishment from gods.
When she go against me,
I was feeling hurt in the inside.
No one eventually will knows,
probably someone in my shoes might know.
Young people today
does not obey
does not study hard
does not help with household chores
But went to nightclubs
run away from school
tell lies to their parents that they have school meeting
I am a taxi driver so I knows.
As a parent also a taxi driver
I had once experienced this
My youngest daughter,
she was very hard working.
Until one day,
as i drove passed a coffee house,
I saw a young girl all dressed up and make up,
looking so familiar
indeed she was my daughter.
Infuriated I dragged her home.
I beat and slapped her
But it taste no good
I realised that I was a fool,
working so hard
but get nothing in return.
What saddened me was,
she had made herself cheap.
Title of the story used to compose my poem: The Taxi man's Story
Making a living with a job as a taxi driver,
for about twenty years,
I have been a taxi driver.
It had been more tiring,
as compared to the past years.
To success in Singapore,
working really hard is very important.
No money can be earn without sweat.
Especially for people
like me
No education
No capital for business
But with a quite big family
with eight children in total.
Among the the eight,
the youngest one is the one who does not obey.
Felt like punishment from gods.
When she go against me,
I was feeling hurt in the inside.
No one eventually will knows,
probably someone in my shoes might know.
Young people today
does not obey
does not study hard
does not help with household chores
But went to nightclubs
run away from school
tell lies to their parents that they have school meeting
I am a taxi driver so I knows.
As a parent also a taxi driver
I had once experienced this
My youngest daughter,
she was very hard working.
Until one day,
as i drove passed a coffee house,
I saw a young girl all dressed up and make up,
looking so familiar
indeed she was my daughter.
Infuriated I dragged her home.
I beat and slapped her
But it taste no good
I realised that I was a fool,
working so hard
but get nothing in return.
What saddened me was,
she had made herself cheap.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Poem 1 A.K.A Group Poem:
I am a hawker center cook
i wake up early in the morning 4am
after eating my breakfast which is two slices of bread and a glass of milk,
i head down to the hawker center
having to go through all the preparation,cutting,boiling,frying
Everyday, i cook different food,
if i accidentally forgot to put something in a dish
i get yelled at
my feelings are hurt
nobody cares
i am so sick and tired
nobody knows
except the other cooks
this wasn't what i wanted to do with my life
i need to earn money to support my family
i wouldn't have started working at such a young age
i guess this is what they call fate
i guess this is what they call destiny
i have worked very hard to make ends meet
and when i come home, all my family members do is complain
they never once appreciated my hard work
its very hard to wake up with a sense of pride everyday.....
I am a hawker center cook
i wake up early in the morning 4am
after eating my breakfast which is two slices of bread and a glass of milk,
i head down to the hawker center
having to go through all the preparation,cutting,boiling,frying
Everyday, i cook different food,
if i accidentally forgot to put something in a dish
i get yelled at
my feelings are hurt
nobody cares
i am so sick and tired
nobody knows except the other cooks
this wasn't what i wanted to do with my life
i need to earn money to support my family
i wouldn't have started working at such a young age
i guess this is what they call fate
i guess this is what they call destiny
i have worked very hard to make ends meet
and when i come home, all my family members do is complain
they never once appreciated my hard work
its very hard to wake up with a sense of pride everyday.....
Thursday, September 2, 2010
I'm posting poem 1 on the other day. :)
Poem 2:
I am a hawker chef.
Every day I woke up at 4am in the morning,
Wash my face and took shower
I ate my breakfast and went to work
I started my day off at the hawker
I work for about 12hrs
Just have 30 minutes break and i will start my work again
I am always the one at the back working hard
People at the front will never know how hard we work
Although I look happy at the outside but was sad in the inside
I had once thought that why should I work so hard
Even thought of giving up
But after considering
I decided to erase off this thought
Understanding that staying alive doing nothing is not as easy as you thought
And i carry on with this job i currently had
It was a very tiring job.
Every time I reach home I would just lie down on the sofa,
Before I went to shower.
I could only close the stall during public holidays
And I will have to start my work again.
